blog post 10
August 19 2017
Ryan and Darian
Letter to my sons – Why mommy works
 
This article is a personal one, I am writing it mainly for my sons and also to share my feeling with you. It’s also for myself, as a reminder for years to come. Thank you for making me feel so close to you that I can share my feelings with you. 

I want you to know that you are brilliant as you are, whether you decide to work or be a stay at home parent. Whether you decide to have kids or not, there is no right or wrong answer. No matter what you decide, believe in it and be comfortable with it. Don’t let anyone and society judge you for your decisions. You are unique and perfect the way you are. This letter is to my sons, about the choices that I made and that I believe are right for me. No matter what you decide in life, those decisions are yours and yours alone, Own them…  



My loves, My boys, 

You know that I love you both to the moon and back, times infinity. You know that you are the treasures of my life and you own my heart. 

I also know that you sometimes wonder why mommy is not around all the time. Why is she allowed to work on her computer at odd times and even after 10 pm and you are not allowed to watch iPad at that time! Well, mommy said many many times that Screen is a Screen! iPad, Mobile, Laptop, TV are all classified under one category after all! You might wonder at times why mommy is away some weekends for her events. I understand all these feelings and I acknowledge them. And that’s the reason I want to write you this letter. 

Mommy comes from a culture in which women don’t have to work. No-one expects them to step in the “man’s world” and add extra responsibilities for themselves. Mommy never worked as a teenager, kids are definitely not expected to work, they just need to study and get good grades! And I did that very well until I started university. 

My English wasn’t great those years and I needed to communicate with more people, so I started working at the library in my university. And as an introvert (I will explain that word to you later! Promise), it was really hard for me to communicate in a different language with strangers. I preferred to stay in the library and read my books. But I also noticed that I was growing and learning every single day. I learned in those days that growth happens when we feel uncomfortable. I eventually worked in all the departments at my university from reception to events and more. I learned, I grew and I earned some money for myself, for the first time in my life, and I liked that feeling! 

During the summers, I applied for internships and I worked during summer time in international corporations and that was my first experience in a real work environment. I loved seeing confident women whose opinions made a difference in their organizations. I loved seeing a lady who was almost 9 months pregnant, still working and that her pregnancy didn’t put a stop to her life. As a 19 year old, I got introduced to new options for women to live and work and find some kind of a balance between the two worlds, and this resonated with me. 

I finally applied for jobs through a newspaper ad and found my way from a local printing press to an International Agency and managed to work on brands such as Nestle, from their packaging to TV commercials and I loved every bit of my work experience. Remember my loves, they made me grow. I could now communicate in English comfortably, I could present, prepare presentations, conduct market visits and my opinion mattered. I didn’t mind working long hours, as a matter of fact, I enjoyed every minute of it. Working was never a chore, it was never something that I was forced to do, it became a part of who I am. 

After 10 years of working, I became pregnant, and Ryan you entered our lives. As excited as I was initially, I also had a lot of self-doubt and questions in my mind. Does motherhood mean that I can’t do the things I want to do anymore? Does Motherhood mean that I have to change my identity? Does it mean that I have to put a stop to the rollercoaster experience that I had at my workplace? I had gotten over all of the “am I good enough”, “is this email written properly”, “am I doing my job correctly” feelings, and I was doing everything confidently. I have to be honest with you, I didn’t want it all to end. 

We started our own advertising agency with daddy, and that gave me flexibility to take you to the office with me. It took me a couple of years, many workshops, coaching sessions, books and 4 businesses to finally master the world of entrepreneurship and parenting. I am writing a book about my story and learnings which I will share with you when you are older. For now, I want you to know that I decided to stay true to who I am. I decided to not change my identity when I became a mom. I asked myself this question: if I don’t continue with my dreams, would I expect you to do the same for me (even unconsciously) when you are young capable and independent men? The answer was No. I never want you to not stay true to who you are for anyone and anything. 

One thing I learned over the years is that my energy and my own feelings make all the difference in my relationship with my loved ones. I wouldn’t be the same person and it wouldn’t be fair to you to have a mom who has “Sacrificed” her own wellbeing and growth to play a single-faceted role. I see it as my responsibility to always give you the best version of me, to grow and to share my knowledge and experience with you. 

I want you to know that I miss you every minute I am away from you. I am also a better person every time I learn something new and feel better about myself. My promise to you is to always grow with you and never even for a second feel that you stopped me from reaching my dreams. On the contrary, You are the reason that I do what I do. Always remember to stay true to yourself and give your loved ones the best version of you. 

Mommy feels the best when she works to create a better life for her family and her fellow parents. She believes that Empowered Mothers Raise Empowered Children who are our future leaders. My worlds, I want you to know that mommy is an advocate of Women’s Empowerment to make our world a better place for all the boys and girls in this world. I encourage you to first love yourself and your family and also think bigger than yourself and make a difference in other people’s lives. 

With all the love in my heart, 
Mommy Mona 

 

 
Thank you for reading the letter, this was a personal one and I appreciate having you in my life to share my personal feeling with you. I will be live on Facebook on Thursday, August 24th at 11 AM GMT (3 pm Dubai) to talk more about staying true to who you are. Follow me on Facebook and I will see you live soon! 
 
Copyright Mona Tavassoli 2017